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Dating Discussion

Page history last edited by Naug 13 years, 9 months ago

When is it ever the victims fault?  Have any of you ever found yourself in a situation and became the victim of abuse?  Please remember to only share if you want. 

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Virginia Bryant - Sexual Assault

Comments (Show all 41)

wikiuser0126 said

at 12:55 pm on Feb 15, 2012

It is never the victims fault. No matter what the situation the victim shouldnt be blammed for anything i think

wikiuser0140 said

at 5:21 pm on Feb 15, 2012

The victim could take take preentative steps , but no it isn't their fualt. Taking precautionary steps would have probably eased the situation, such as not drinking which probably amplified the abusive behavior. No i haven't personally been in any kind of situatuion like or particualrly similar to it.

wikiuser0142 said

at 6:56 pm on Feb 16, 2012

I don't think in this case it was the victim's fault. She probably shouldn't have drank all the wine, but she was aware enough of the situation to try to get him to stop. I don't think that if she hadn't drank the wine the outcome would've been any better. He would've still did what he wanted to.

wikiuser0141 said

at 9:37 pm on Feb 16, 2012

The victim is called the victim for a reason. There is a difference between purposely abusing others and self-defense. I have been fortunate enough to not become a victim of abuse.

wikiuser0121 said

at 10:13 pm on Feb 16, 2012

The victim is never at fault, unless they purposely provoked such bursts of anger knowingly. No I have never been in the situation.

wikiuser0130 said

at 1:05 pm on Feb 17, 2012

I don't think in any case of this kind of abuse it is ever the victim's fault.

wikiuser0134 said

at 5:25 pm on Feb 17, 2012

In most cases the victim is not at fault. However, there may be times where the victim may take things to far by not saying anything, or taking action. In those situations the Victim's pain and suffering is due to there delay. Those instenses, the victim is also at fault

wikiuser0154 said

at 6:05 pm on Feb 17, 2012

It is NEVER the victims fault. Every one who hasn't been in an abusive relationship thinks it's so easy to walk away. When you are in a relationship like this, it's hard to leave for a number of reasons. Most common reason is that you actually care for the person who you are with even though they are hurting you. Sometimes, you may not even realize how horribly you are being treated. People say to take precautions which is also something you may not be able to do. Someone can be with a person for a long time with out them being abusive until the end. Honestly, dating abuse is a touchy subject for me, and I don't believe the victim could ever be at fault.

wikiuser0145 said

at 8:05 pm on Feb 17, 2012

The victim is never at fault unless they stay in such a relationship. Then they are at fault for not helping themselves.

wikiuser0123 said

at 8:39 pm on Feb 17, 2012

It is never the victims fault that they are in an abusive relationship, even if they say they do not want to break up with the abusive person. They think that their boyfriend/girlfriend will change even though they won't, but they are still not at fault.

wikiuser0160 said

at 9:29 pm on Feb 17, 2012

There are things people can do to stop abusive relationships but most people want to think they're partner can change. The truth is that they won't. However, even if the person stays in the relationship, I dont believe that the victim can be at fault for their abusive partners actions.

wikiuser0129 said

at 10:30 pm on Feb 17, 2012

Its not the victims fault the way to resolve a conflict better is by talking not arguing.

wikiuser0122 said

at 11:36 pm on Feb 17, 2012

I mean the victim had good intentions which is why they are the victims. In the world we live in today the nice guy always gets screwed over, taken advantage of, used. The victim just has a good heart, it's those who are corrupted and act trustworthy that makes a victim.

wikiuser0137 said

at 11:38 pm on Feb 17, 2012

I believe that every relationship, abusive or not, is completely different from others. In this fashion, I think that it truly depends on the situation, and while most of the time it completely has nothing to do with the victim, I do believe sometimes the fault is shared between abuser and victim.

wikiuser0162 said

at 12:01 am on Feb 18, 2012

It is never the victims fault in an abuse situation. they can not help how the other person is feeling and control their actions. All they can try to do is talk to the abuser and end the situation in a peaceful manner. If things continue to to get worse they need to inform an authority figure and have them take more control.

wikiuser0131 said

at 12:49 am on Feb 18, 2012

It is not the victims fault in this situation. She was just trying to help the other person and thought that they could take about his problems. She would have never thought that he would end up doing that to her. Although drinking a lot of wine wasn't going to help him in he shouldnt have done that.

wikiuser0150 said

at 12:26 pm on Feb 18, 2012

The victim handled it in a good way except for the wine, it seems she is a good person and they thought they could work their problems out but it seem they cant and wont. the victim is in fault when they feed the abuser more anger and they go back and forth arguing instead of just ending it.

wikiuser0127 said

at 9:09 am on Feb 19, 2012

It is never the victims fault in a situation like this. She could have changed a few things though like not drinking wine because it might have made her thinking more clear

wikiuser0124 said

at 10:21 am on Feb 19, 2012

I would say that it's usually never the victim's fault, but if they do provoke the outbursts then yes they are at fault. However most victims can prevent certain things from happening such as in the case of this woman drinking wine.

wikiuser0146 said

at 5:24 pm on Feb 19, 2012

in this situation it wasnt the victims fault....but in some other cases it is beacuse the victims fault beacuse they could provoke or give out the wrong signals to the rapist.

wikiuser0175 said

at 6:45 pm on Feb 19, 2012

i believe it is never the victims fault, though they were drinking once she had said stop he shouldve stopped and not try to persue her anymore.

Naug said

at 2:50 pm on Feb 21, 2012

Many of you, it is never the victims fault, BUT THEY WERE DRINKING.... is that not blaming the victim?

wikiuser0139 said

at 11:09 pm on Apr 6, 2012

i believe that for the most part it's not the victims fault, because they can't control what the attacker is thinking or planning to do. however, if the victim decides to drink so much that they aren't able to realize what's happening around them or even maintain conciousness, they are at fault to an extent for not being responsible for themselves.

wikiuser0202 said

at 6:44 pm on Apr 23, 2012

It is never the victims fault when abuse occurs. However, there are certain things that people could do to make abuse less likely.

wikiuser0185 said

at 12:19 pm on Apr 24, 2012

it is never the victims fault when abuse occurs i think,they could somewhat control it but its not there fault

wikiuser0187 said

at 4:19 pm on Apr 24, 2012

it is never the victims fault during abuse. but she shouldnt have had the wine with him. it would have made it a little easier.

wikiuser0203 said

at 8:40 pm on Apr 24, 2012

I dont think it is the victims fault the first time, but after the first time they get abused, they should really leave. If they go back they might think things will get better but in reality that almost never happens.

wikiuser0183 said

at 10:19 am on Apr 25, 2012

the only time that it can be the victims fault is when they let themselfs keep getting hurt and they dont do nothing about it. i have been in an abusive relationship. it wasnt physicle but very mental. when someone keeps messing around with ur head and they keep hurting you mentally i consider it abuse.

wikiuser0190 said

at 5:14 pm on Apr 25, 2012

I think it's not the victims fault if they did everything they can to prevent it. but in situation like this, she could have prevented it if she wasn't drunk and she knew was alone with a guy and because of that anything could happen. we never knew what on each other's mind so we should always think of our actions and the possibility of what could happen. that's just what I think.

wikiuser0195 said

at 8:29 pm on Apr 25, 2012

Its never the victims fault. They dont ask for something bad to happen to them. In this situation she she was tipsy but she thought she was just having a drink with her friend but he wanted more. But even though it was hard she should have told her husband and got help.

wikiuser0197 said

at 9:55 pm on Apr 25, 2012

It is not the victims fault at all. She had no intentions on any of this happening. It was a simple hangout with a friend and they had alittle to much wine. She didn't ask for this to happen so its not her fault. I have never been in a situation like this before.

wikiuser0188 said

at 10:19 am on Apr 26, 2012

It is never the victims fault. The alcohol is no excuse for abuse. I have never been in the situation.

wikiuser0212 said

at 12:39 pm on Apr 26, 2012

it can be the victims fault if they provoke the abuser. i have never been a victim of abuse; only seen others in that position.

wikiuser0181 said

at 10:18 am on Apr 27, 2012

It is never a victims fault. Even if they do something to provoke someone, there are ways to handle it other than abuse. I have never been a victim of abuse, however I have seen it happen to others.

wikiuser0207 said

at 2:27 pm on Apr 27, 2012

I don't think it is ever the victims fault. Yes, the victim may make poor choices and antagonize his/her partner, but it's not the victim's choice to get yelled at, hit, or assaulted, it is the abusers decision to engage in those actions. I have never been in a situation like this.

wikiuser0200 said

at 6:49 pm on Apr 28, 2012

Being called a "victim" in a situation is clearly for a reason. It is absolutely NEVER the victim's fault. I've never been a victim in any kind of abuse, but it doesn't take a genius to notice it. No one really could judge the situation from her perspective, and everyone would've handled it differently, but I don't necessarily think she did anything wrong.

wikiuser0194 said

at 11:33 pm on Apr 29, 2012

No, I don't believe that it is ever the victim's fault. They are just merely a victim, they had never done anything wrong, unless you count being the wrong situation at the wrong time. A victim never chooses to be a victim, no one every wants to be a victim of abuse. And yes, I have been a victim of dating abuse. I wasn't fully aware of what "dating abuse" was at the time, and I knew something was wrong with the relationship between the name calling, fighting, and some physical abuse. I don't believe that it was "my" fault or that I ever did anything to deserve it. After a couple months of realizing that it was not a healthy relationship at all, I finally got myself out of it. Once it happens, you do become much more careful of the people that you date/involve yourself with and watch out much more for any signs of abuse whatsoever. And I still do not believe that if alcohol is included that it is the victim's fault. They still don't want to be victimized and abused in any way.

Naug said

at 7:55 am on May 2, 2012

Thank you.

wikiuser0214 said

at 7:27 am on May 7, 2012

not the victims fault. they are insecure and dont no who to turn to. no i never been in that situation

wikiuser0740 said

at 6:08 pm on Mar 16, 2016

it is NEVER EVER the victems fault. There cpuld have been things the victem could have done to avoid the abuse but in the end maybe the victim didn't know the appropriate steps to take to make sure the dating abuse stops. I personally have never been a victim to any kind of abuse but i know some friends that have gone through it. Most of the time, unless abuse is expressed, it is hard to notice.

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